Parenting Styles

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Growing up, I experienced different methods of parenting. My mom disapproved of any grade less than an A, no discussion about it. Not to mention, no talk about boys or other teenage issues. Just basically do well in school. On the other hand, my dad loved praising my efforts and told me that it was more important to be a well rounded student. He also liked to talk with me a lot. But don't get me wrong, he was strict too. Just more understandably so. Although my parents did not agree with one another's style of parenting, I know they did the best they could.


Now that I have my own kids, I can understand both perspectives. However, it is difficult to implement both. My mother, would probably have been classified as the authoritarian parent. “Do as I say, and that's it."  My dad would have been categorized as the authoritative parent. He kept the lines of communication going while making sure that my brother and I followed the rules.


In the article Children of "tiger parents" develop more aggression and depression, research shows, Kim Wong Keltner criticizes the authoritarian method of raising children. Referencing Amy Chua's “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” she claims that this particular style can make children feel as if they are living in a kind of “emotional jail.” Keltner responds to Chua's book “Tiger Babies Strike Back” emphasizing that children are not robots but actually have feelings.

The three categories of parenting styles developed by psychologist Diana Baumrind are listed below.

The Authoritative Parenting Style

The authoritative parent encourages the child to think independently and play an active role in decision making. This style of parenting helps to build a high self esteem and teaches the child responsibility. The parent provides a warm and nurturing environment while expectations are clear and rules are consistently enforced. The parent is responsive to the child and acts immediately to the child's needs. In this environment, the child feels comfortable and feels a sense of security. Also, the authoritative parent is very involved and is aware of who the child's friends are.

Authoritarian Parenting Style

In contrast to the authoritative style of parenting, the authoritarian parent does not provide a warm and inviting atmosphere. This parent employs a technique that is more demanding and harsher than that of the authoritative parent. The authoritarian uses power over the child to achieve results, as opposed to supporting the child's sense of autonomy.

Permissive Parenting Style

The permissive parent is warm and involved with their child's life. Unlike the authoritarian, the permissive parent respects the autonomy of a child. However, they choose not to exert any control over the child. Permissive parents are not demanding, do not follow through on their discipline, and ignore misbehavior .Which method do you think is the most effective way to raise children?

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